


You shall be my roots.

by nice_igloo



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Earth C (Homestuck), F/F, F/M, Gender Dysphoria, Genderfluid Character, Healing, Just a chill introspective fic, M/M, Multi, Not Epilogue Compliant, Not any big plot, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-25
Packaged: 2020-11-28 14:27:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20968064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nice_igloo/pseuds/nice_igloo
Summary: Dave Strider x Karkat Vantas slice of life fic with a lot of introspection into his character and the relationships he maintains on Earth C





	1. Chapter 1

It is 11:58 pm and Dave Strider cannot sleep. The hot Texan summer air permeates through his closed window screen (the glass had been broken for as long as he could remember). His ceiling fan moved sluggishly overhead, as if it too was exhausted by the thick heat. Even the thin sheets draped over his legs and torso were causing Dave to sweat and fight the urge to shift out from underneath them.

He did not dare move a muscle. 

It is 11:58:37 pm August 15th and Dave Strider cannot sleep. Not for lack of trying, Dave would readily welcome the gift of unconsciousness and the respite, albeit brief, it brings him. No, Dave Strider cannot sleep for a multitude of reasons. The heat would be a factor if Dave had not been so accustomed to it by now, there is no air conditioning in his room. He knows there used to be. He stopped wondering about things constantly going missing a long time ago. He can live without it. He guesses that's the point. 

There is an almost inaudible creak from somewhere outside of his room. 

It is 11:58:37.562 pm Sunday August 15th, 2008 and Dave Strider cannot sleep, cannot move, cannot breathe because He is watching and Dave knows He is watching and He knows Dave knows He is watching. He would never allow a noise to be made unless He wanted Dave to know. A reminder. Of what? Dominance? Ownership? Or is He just fucking with him again?

Dave doesn't know.  
Dave doesn't care.  
Dave doesn't move.

Dave falls asleep. 

But it can't really be described as "sleeping." It's neurotic but painfully still.  
It's relieving but terrifyingly vulnerable.  
Dave wakes up every 5 minutes. 

12:03:37 am

12:08:37 am

12:13:37 am

12:18:37 am

12:23:37 am

Dave drifts off to sleep eventually, but he knows He is there. 

Because He is always there. 

And He always will be. 

You shall be my roots and I will be your shade, though the sun burns my leaves.

-House of Leaves

Dave wakes up with tears running down his cheeks and a pang in his ribs. He momentarily panics, believing he is back in Houston, until his elbow whacks his partner in the head, eliciting a muffled, 

“FUCK.”

Dave lets loose a small sigh of relief. It is 7:31 am Tuesday December 4th, 2016, the sun not yet rising to cut through the chilly Winter air. Not that Dave would have any way of knowing when the sun has finally dragged itself above the hemisphere, due to the inky black drapes that cover every window in the apartment. Crockercorp makes an absolute killing mass producing them in the Troll Kingdom. Dave doesn’t understand why they bothered adding windows to begin with. Karkat kicks him in the shin. Dave kicks him back. Karkat makes an exasperated groan and rolls over. Dave smiles, and pulls himself out of bed.

It’s Dave’s turn to cook breakfast today, they alternate every week, so he heads to the kitchen to see what bizarre ingredients Karkat picked up at the Eastern Alternian Supermarket the other day. Dave didn’t think he would ever get used to the strange bug themed food but quickly acquired a taste for it, much to John’s disgust. Dave had tried a fried cockroach once at a town fair when he was little, it wasn’t much different. Dave pulls the fridge open, instinctively hiding behind the door like a shield and peeking his head around to make sure there was no trap within. Dave is still a little surprised to see a fridge stocked with food. He mentally chides himself, and flicks a rubber band around his wrist against his skin. He grabs a few eggs(?) and what he presumes to be bacon strips. They’re literally neon fucking green. Sick.

Dave has never claimed to be a wizard in the kitchen, that would be John and Jane because they are not only literal wizards but they also make a good ass quiche. Dave considers his cooking skills to be around a “can heat a hot pocket without burning the building down” level, which is still better than Karkat who did do that once. He’ll never forget the look on Karkat’s face when an alt Dave popped into the room and threw the offending hot pocket out the window. Dave smiles to himself as he heats the pan and cracks the eggs(?) into a bowl. He pulls out a baking sheet and dumps the slime bacon into a pile that closely resembles Sam-I-Am’s excrement post Green Eggs and Ham. He doesn’t bother setting a timer, he knows exactly how long Karkat likes them cooked for. He does an absentminded drum solo with his fingers on the counter as the eggs sizzle and begin to brown.  
Just as he is arranging their plates and silverware his phone rings. Dave fishes his phone out of his pocket and answers. 

DAVE: yo whats up this is olive garden what can we fuckin do for you

JOHN: yes hello i would like to place an order for one sick ass dude name of dave strider?

DAVE: oh DAMN hold up that guy is in such large demand let me see if I can wrest him from the large amount of sex he is currently having

JOHN: that is okay i understand that his schedule is just completely jam packed with nonstop sexual escapades with the many women that he has sex with regularly.

DAVE: hell yes dude absolutely that guy is straight as a goddamn whistle if you compared him to a completely straight line hed be right up next to that line whispering sweet fuckin nothings in his ear and falling back to get an eyefull of that hot lines ass

JOHN: wait if you got behind a never ending straight line like on a grid how would you even see its ass like isn’t it infinite?

JOHN: holy shit could you imagine just constantly expanding in either direction?

JOHN: your consciousness of the world continually stretching as long as there is more space for you to grow?

DAVE: hey egbert what the fuck

JOHN: how does the olive garden employee know my last name??

DAVE: i get that you are continuing the bit but we are literally gods everybody knows our names

JOHN: it is easy to forget that sometimes!!

DAVE: yea it would be when you never leave your house and dont socialize and dont contact anyone for weeks

DAVE: im not gonna lecture you on how to cope because it is frankly not my place but you really need to visit sometime or do something that isnt shutting yourself off from everything

JOHN: that’s what this is about, actually!

JOHN: roxy reached out to me and we got to talking about the old times and, uh, some other stuff.

JOHN: i will spare you the long and boring “feelings jam” that conspired and skip to the important part.

JOHN: i am holding a get together at my place tonight and literally everyone i have ever held a 5 second interaction with is invited.

DAVE: oh hell yes dude will we be watching con air again

JOHN: haha if that is what people want to do then i am okay with that!

JOHN: i will be honest here this is kinda for a serious reason but that doesn’t mean it’ll be boring or uncomfortable or anything.

JOHN: at least i hope haha...

DAVE: john are you feeling alright you seem pretty nervous

DAVE: like roxy can sometimes be a little overbearing with trying to help people solve their own problems

DAVE: she always means well but sometimes she does push things too hard too fast

JOHN: no!!

JOHN: i mean,

JOHN: no.

JOHN: this is something that ive gotta do, you know?

JOHN: trust me, dave.

DAVE: alright dog i trust you

DAVE: me and karkat will be there tonight

DAVE: and like

DAVE: if you need anything

DAVE: we’re always here for you

JOHN: haha thanks dude you’re the best.

JOHN: i’ll see you then!

John hangs up before Dave can reply. He stares at John’s contact in his phone for a minute. He’s been worried about him for a while now, and he’s anxious about this party thing. He wonders if John can handle being around that many people after shutting himself off for the past 5 years. He hears the clink of dishes and the scraping of silverware. He looks up. Their purrbeast has eaten all the eggs off the plates Dave had set up. 

DAVE: oh goddamnit nepeta


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave grapples with the past.
> 
> TW/ Child Abuse (past), Seizures

There were good times, too.

Dave wishes that there weren’t.

Dave pretends that there weren’t.

“It makes it easier to compartmentalize your trauma, by labeling your childhood as ‘all bad’ your brain has an excuse to not probe those memories as much as others.”

This is how Rose described it to him once.

If that is really the case it sure as fuck isn’t working for him.

Whenever there is a silent moment, he has to be careful to not slip back in.

He isn’t very good at that, either.

He can feel the burning hot gravel under his palms, bits of it scraping through his skin staining his jeans and shirt with crimson blood. He can feel the new rips in his clothes, the stands of white fiber from his jeans already promising to be a new object of Dave’s ceaseless fiddling. It doesn’t hurt exactly, the feeling is more akin to an incessant fly buzzing around your ear. He attempts to pull himself up, and for the first time in a long time his muscles just won’t cooperate. He starts to panic. It’d been so long. He’d stopped taking the medicine because he figured he didn’t need it anymore. He is spasming now, his muscles have gone from uncooperative to frantic and uncontrollable. He grits his teeth so he doesn’t bite his tongue. He can’t get in air. He can’t see. He knows he’s going to die here on this stupid fucking roof. 

And then he’s no longer on the ground, strong arms lift him into a cradle carry and he feels something cool and damp pressed against his forehead. There is a surprising amount of tenderness with the way Bro is carrying him. A kindness that is utterly baffling to Dave. He isn’t sure if he passed out from exhaustion or the sheer confusion of the situation, but he drifts off as Bro begins to unlock the door.

Dave woke up on his mattress in his room. The window was open and a large fan was circulating cool air. He had a damp cloth wrapped around his forehead and his wounds were bandaged. His shades, his most precious possession, are folded and placed neatly on his desk. Dave doesn’t move. Not because he can’t, the seizure has passed, but because he doesn’t know if he should. He doesn’t know what to do. He lays there for hours. He thinks he started crying a few times, it’s blurry. He falls into a restless sleep. When he wakes up the fan is gone, the cloth too, and a note has been left on his desk, next to a bottle of pills, Phenytek. 

"More training tonight. Take these. Next time I won’t help you."

Dave's hands won't stop shaking.

You shall quench my thirst and  
I will feed you fruit,  
though time takes my seed.

-House of Leaves 

Dave runs the sink and fills a glass of water, he uncaps his pill bottles and pops them in his mouth. He wasn’t sure if Earth C would have developed the same kind of medicine he needs in the several thousand years he sped up time, but it turns out having an ecto-mom who can summon shit out of non existence simplifies things. Dave still finds it a little embarrassing to ask his mom to get him his meds, especially when she purposefully makes them flintstone vitamin gummies. Dino is his favorite. 

He chews Fred’s face thoughtfully as he thinks about John’s invitation from earlier. Karkat doesn’t do well at parties, ironically he hates loud spaces and gets a little panicky around dance floors and flashing lights. Dave has told Karkat many times that his kind of epilepsy isn’t affected by flashing lights but Karkat still reflexively covers Dave’s eyes with his hands when they encounter some. Dave always smiles and goes along with it. It makes him feel warm when Karkat displays such clear and straightforward affection. He’s smiling to himself, still lost in thought, when Karkat trudges into the bathroom. 

DAVE: mornin sunshine

KARKAT: IT IS 11 O’CLOCK.

DAVE: thats still morning dummy

KARKAT: I DETEST THE NOTION THAT ANY TIME PAST SUNRISE AND BEFORE NOON IS CONSIDERED “MORNING”.

DAVE: sorry my guy i dont make the rules take it up with aristotle

KARKAT: I AM *LITERALLY* RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CREATION OF THIS “ARISTHOTLE” I THINK I SHOULD BE THE ONE CALLING THE SHOTS ON THIS PARTICULAR ISSUE THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

DAVE: okay then what was it called on alternia

KARKAT: IT WAS CALLED “STAY INSIDE YOUR FUCKING HIVE OR YOU’LL BE BURNED ALIVE BY THE HEATDEATH THAT IS THE SUN”.

DAVE: okay then what did jadebloods call it

KARKAT: HOW SHOULD I KNOW

DAVE: we should ask kanaya tonight

KARKAT: OH CHRIST NO. PARDON MY DISINTEREST BUT I HAVE NO PATIENCE TO SIT THROUGH AN HOUR LONG LECTURE ON ALTERNIAN HISTORY AND SCIENCES.

DAVE: yea i think i got enough of that on the meteor. 

Karkat grunts in agreement and steps into his weird-ass slime shower. Dave tried it once and couldn’t get flecks of green blobs out of his hair for weeks. He has no idea how that thing works and no longer any desire to figure it out. He exits the bathroom and flops onto the couch next to Nepeta, who is still happily licking her chops searching for more bits of egg. He scratches the back of her head. She purrs and flops onto his leg, batting her paws at his other arm. Originally Karkat didn’t want a pet because  


“THEY ARE PITIFUL MOOCHES WHO CONSTANTLY SCREAM FOR ATTENTION.”  


Dave thinks he was just scared he’d mess up taking care of it. 

One night they were dumpster diving in the apartment trash compactor because Karkat accidentally threw away his car keys, again. Karkat almost pissed his goddamn pants when he heard a small mewl, and a little black fuzzy head poked out from underneath a pizza box. They immediately took it home and gave it a warm meal of some weird fucking bugs from the fridge. It had no collar, and judging by its body weight and slim frame it had likely been born a stray. It also looked like it had a bit of a genetic disorder compared to the typical four-eyed cats of Earth C (Roxy's meowcats had gotten busy in the years they had skipped, and were now the dominant breed), this cat had only three. Two eyes paired and another slightly above the right eye. Karkat immediately fell in love with her, though this is something he would readily deny, he would snuggle up with her for hours, his chest became her favored napping spot, he took it upon himself to care for her in a way that melted Dave’s heart. 

DAVE: what should we name her?

KARKAT: WHAT IS IT WITH HUMANS AND NAMING OTHER LIVING BEINGS FOR THEM AS IF THEY ARE SOMEHOW LESSER.

KARKAT: THAT’S LIKE IF WHEN I HAD MY FIRST CONVERSATION WITH YOU I DECLARED “HELLO IT IS I, YOUR GOD-MASTER, YOUR NAME IS NOW SHITLIPS. FUCK YOU.”

DAVE: i mean

DAVE: i guess???

DAVE: i dunno man it’d be kinda weird to refer to her as like “cat” or “feline” yknow

DAVE: oh hey cat how are you

DAVE: idk david my name is fuckin cat so not super good i guess

DAVE: oh yea i can see the problem im sorry to hear about that

DAVE: its okay man ive gotten used to my place in the social hierarchy and have come to terms with my name being an efficient shorthand for “Felis Catus Domesticus” which imo would have been an even rawer deal than the one ive found myself burdened with

DAVE: damn that shit su-

KARKAT: ALRIGHT I GET IT WE SHOULD NAME THE FUCKING CAT.

DAVE: how about

DAVE: hmm

DAVE: im blanking here man wanna give it a shot

KARKAT: …

KARKAT: HOW ABOUT

KARKAT: NEPETA.

Karkat looks at his feet with a solemn expression on his face, his voice breaks on the name and he starts to get choked up. Dave smiles and puts his hand on Karkat’s shoulder.

DAVE: yea  


DAVE: i think thats perfect sweetie

Karkat smiles sheepishly, and wipes a crimson tear from his eye.

Dave is brought out of his memories by the sound of his phone blaring the first 4 notes of Megalovania, made nearly unrecognizable by the massive amounts of audio crust Dave added. Dave made custom pester notification sounds for each of his friends, and is a little surprised to hear from this chum in particular. It has been a long time since he, or anyone for that matter, had heard from her. 

— apocalypseArisen [AA] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] —

AA: hey! :D

AA: open the window!

— apocalypseArisen [AA] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] —

Dave sighs, why couldn’t she just knock on the door like a normal fucking person? Then again, Aradia is practically the prime antonym of the term “normal”. Dave pulls open the curtains of the window behind the couch, letting an unprecedented amount of light fill the room. Aradia beams and waves at him, her face inches away from the class. A jadeblood girl on the sidewalk below calls out to her and makes a heart with her hands. Aradia winks at her and blows a kiss. The jadeblood swoons and blushes. Aradia raises her eyebrows smugly at Dave as he opens the window. 

ARADIA: did you see that dave?

ARADIA: it appears that the girls are no longer swooning over the undaunted cool kid

ARADIA: and have realized the true romantic superiority of the dashing adventurer beauty!

DAVE: not exactly a surprising revelation

DAVE: i have always known that one day the student would become the master

Aradia, now in the living room, makes a big show of bowing deeply before Dave.

ARADIA: oshiete kurete arigatō, sensei

DAVE: oh god you best not be turning into damara i will evict you so fast

ARADIA: lmao as if

ARADIA: i havent even seen her since the “game that shall not be named”

DAVE: titling it like that isnt any better than just saying it outright tbh

ARADIA: hey i am trying to be sensitive here!!

ARADIA: i know that some of us got dealt a pretty rough deal back then and dont wish to reflect upon it

DAVE: yea

DAVE: so is there a reason you came by today

ARADIA: i need a reason to visit my best time bro? D:

DAVE: well no thats not what i meant

DAVE: im happy to see you and all that

DAVE: but you usually dont pop up to just shoot the shit yknow

ARADIA: im here for john’s party of course!

ARADIA: well not *here* but i decided to stop by

ARADIA: theres obviously some sort of ulterior motive for this get together and id be lying if i said i wasnt curious!

ARADIA: besides adventuring through ruined dream bubbles with sollux is getting a little boring

ARADIA: once youve seen 100 youve basically seen them all

ARADIA: to be honest with you dave the prospect of exploring ancient tombs and crypts and so forth seemed much more exciting when i was a grub

ARADIA: not that it isnt fun!

ARADIA: but seeing the ruined dreams of thousands of dead karkats and solluxs and feferis is beginning to wear on me a bit

ARADIA: dont tell anyone i said that okay? i have a reputation to keep up! ;)

DAVE: your totally obvious and understandable secret is safe with me

ARADIA: hey! ill have you know I’m extremely adept at hiding my emotions!!

She absolutely isn’t. Maybe it’s a side effect from being dead and not having emotions for so long, or maybe Dave is just perceptive, or maybe it’s a mix of both, but her bloodshot eyes and the abnormally dark bags beneath them gave away her discontentment with the lifestyle she’d been pursuing. Dave and Aradia shared an unspoken bond as time players. The feeling of being trapped in your own head, the desperate need to get away from themselves. There were rare moments when the happy go lucky attitude Aradia maintained began to crack. Moments where the two shared discussion that went beyond the joking and ribbing that constitutes the majority of their friendship. Dave was about to ask Aradia if she needed to get something off her chest when her palmhusk vibrated within her dress pocket.

ARADIA: its sollux

ARADIA: ive gotta go dave I don’t want to hear him whining about how long im taking

DAVE: its cool

DAVE: ill catch you at the party

DAVE: say hi to danny phantom for me

ARADIA: dave weve been out in paradox space for years now your human cultural references are utterly meaningless to me

DAVE: i know but itll still annoy him 

Aradia cracks a mischievous grin and floats out the window, waving to Dave as she goes. Dave waves back and closes the curtains. He wonders who else is going to be at the party. Rose, Roxy, Jane, Jake, and Jade are obviously attending. If Jake is going Dirk will likely show up at some point or another. Kanaya, Aradia, Sollux, maybe some sprites. Dave doesn’t know if they can really be called sprites anymore, once they got to Earth C they basically just became alive again. He doesn’t like to dwell on that too much. What is taking up most of his thoughts is how the hell he is supposed to have a normal conversation with Jade. He hasn’t seen her in a year or so now, and he tried to get in contact a few times. Rose advised him to just give her some time and space, which is what constitutes as a joke to her, he guesses. Joke or not Dave still took the advice, she clearly didn’t want to talk to him and he should respect that. 

It’s been a nightmare. 

Dave has had a lot of those recently. 

It’s like a tar.

Slowly encapsulating him with thick boiling ooze.

It clings to the hairs on his arms and the space between his pores. 

He sinks but never enough for the tar to reach his lungs, always just a little short. 

Is it feeding off him?

Does it enjoy his pain?

What does it want?

He wishes it would just take it and go. 

His heart is being crushed by the weight of the world.

There are arms wrapped around him now. The soft feeling of a towel on his skin. The smell of metal and rust pressed against him. It smells like home. He wraps his arms around his home, and he hears soothing words of comfort and encouragement whispered in his ear. Dave finally opens his eyes and sees Karkat’s neck and shoulder near his cheek and chin. Dave can feel the weight of his tears drip down his face. He hugs him tight. They stay like that for a while.

You don’t deserve this, Dave thinks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one was a little personal for me tbh


	3. A Brief Aside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> homestuck^2 more like wack as fuck

Hello, dear readers, I have come to make an announcement of great narrative importance. Homestuck is bad, actually. That's really all there is to say on the matter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next real update soon I promise

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first attempt at something like this and it was a lot of fun tbh??? im def gonna write more of this


End file.
